Let's get something straight: stay-at-home mamas put up with a lot of bullsh*t, just like working mums do. They chase their children around, keep the house as clean as humanly possible, and never get a break. Recently, an anonymous woman turned to the Reddit thread "Am I the Asshole" to determine whether or not it's fair to ask her husband to pay her for staying home with their 1-year-old son, and we can see her side.
"So I feel pretty crummy even typing this out to complete strangers but here goes," she began. "My husband and I have been married for four years and we have a 1.5-year-old together. He works and I agreed to stay at home since the birth of our son. I was earning only about 1/8 of what he was anyways, so we decided the most sensible arrangement since getting married was that I'd become a homemaker and SAHM when we had a baby."
"When it comes to finances . . . I feel like I have no power over [them]."
She continued: "I've been a stay at home spouse/mum for about three years now and it was fine before the baby," she explained. "But now there are a lot of things I want to change but don't know how to, especially when it comes to finances which I feel like I have no power over. My husband earns good money but he's very frugal about nonessential spending because he wants to be financially independent (no job, earnings from investments) at an early age. Granted he was like this when I met him but I had also had my own salary at the time to do what I wanted. I'm looser with my money because I like eating out, going out with friends, going shopping, etc. All the normal things people in their 20s buy and do."
While the woman's husband offered to pay her a daily stipend of $150 a day, anything over that requires a conversation for budgetary reasons.
"Now that I stay at home we have mini fights every time I want to buy anything over $150, which is the limit he set that needs a 'conversation.' This means if I go out to get clothing, makeup, brunch, little treats, etc. and the amount exceeds $150, I would need to call him beforehand and talk about what I'm buying. It feels extremely restrictive and quite frankly humiliating. He spends so little on himself that it seems like to him that I'm the one spending all the money on myself every month."
Because no couple genuinely likes to fight, the mum in question asked her sister what she should do, and the topic of getting paid to watch her son came up.
"I've been talking to my sister who's also a SAHM and she says her and her husband have an agreement where she's 'paid' for childcare/homekeeping," said the mum. "Essentially, she gets 'paid' a few thousand every month to spend on whatever she wants . . . Right now, she says she gets about $3,500 a month because that's how much it would cost them to hire an outside nanny where they live. It's a bit cheaper where we live so I wouldn't be asking as much, but would I be the asshole to suggest a similar arrangement with my husband so I don't need to go groveling for money every time I want to buy myself something nonessential?"
Scroll through to get a look at both the arguments for and against this stay-at-home mum getting a salary and see what side you fall on.