Every week presents its challenges to my sanity. The crazy combination of work, relationships, social life, and the impending future leave hardly any time for me, myself, and I. I am so over it. I lost touch with my surroundings and in turn, lost touch with my own sense of who I am [1]. In the course of the past year, I realised I needed change, stat. So I started doing more of what made me happy [2], more of what made me mindful, and more of what made me smile.
Here are a five little things that I do to make everyday a little better and a little brighter.
I buy flowers for myself every week.
To me, this action felt like the embodiment of "taking matters into my own hands." I'm taking a stand for myself in a small yet impactful way. Flowers are synonymous to love and appreciation — two things that I need to remind myself I deserve. Growing up, they were something my mum made sure to keep around the house, mainly for herself, too. Having a small bouquet of flowers adds colour not only to the living room, but also to my daily routine. Every time I walk past those flowers, I am filled with positive sentiments. There is nothing sad about fresh-cut flowers.
I don't wear headphones on my morning commute.
My mornings used to read like this: wake up, check phone for messages, shower, put on clothes, put in headphones, get to work. Robotic. Repetitive. I used headphones to block out the world around me. But by blocking it out, I was missing out on what was happening around me. A real catch-22 situation. So, when I got to work at 9 a.m. and stayed in the office until 5 p.m., I had no interaction with the "outside world" during the daylight hours. Taking out my headphones in the morning was a small step in my personal journey of discovering my immediate environment.
I don't watch "stories."
It's almost automatic, that action of clicking on a person's Instagram avatar to open up a disturbingly intimate play-by-play of their day. It personally made me feel bad about myself. Why was I in my room folding laundry when other people were at Drake concerts? Why was I riding in a car with my mum when other people were taking bikini pics at the beach? What was wrong with my life? Every single day became a subconscious cycle of disappointment, of questioning my worth. I grew jealous and resented my friends because of their appearance of glamour and my lack thereof. Stories were toxic for me. So, I stopped. I stopped watching the intrusive video reels and focussed on my beautiful, quiet moments. With that change, I'm beginning to treasure my present, rather than give in to resentment.
I talk to strangers.
The universal child mantra, "don't talk to strangers," is so deeply ingrained into my approach of new spaces that I was involuntarily putting up an impenetrable guard against every person I met. My tough exterior was my main source of protection. But then, I noticed a trend: it was from my exchanges with strangers, those that managed to break through my guard, that I've learned the most about the world and its many facets. By keeping strangers at a distance, I was consequently cutting myself off from newness, from something bigger than myself.
I walk slowly.
You know the drill: live fast, die young. Great idea in theory, but the thing is, I do not want to die young. I started walking at a below average pace and three things happened: my heart rate sang for joy, my stress levels decreased significantly, and I was seeing rather than just looking around me. I started taking the bus. It has its faults — it's slower than taking the train or riding in a car, and I have to carefully budget time to use it — but it's worth it. On a bus, I can really take in every stop; something that's impossible in any other transportation method. Live slow, die old.
I am on the long and winding road to true self-love and self-confidence, but with little changes, I can see a bigger, positive change in the future. I am paying attention to my own needs and I am much better for it. That makes me really happy.