The moment I flipped the first page of The Happiness Project [1], I — like millions of other readers around the globe — was hooked. Thanks to Gretchen Rubin's compelling tales and wise words, I decided to embark on my own quest for happiness. Because, despite the fact that I'd like to consider myself a naturally positive person, we could all use a bit more pep in our step [2], right? And although my journey didn't last a year per se like Gretchen's, the results were nonetheless pretty incredible. So if you, too, happen to be seeking ways to climb aboard the "good vibes only" bandwagon, ahead are the nine steps I uncovered for unlocking more happiness [3] in the everyday.
Start thinking with intention.
Despite how elusive the state of happiness can seem, the first step in becoming a happier person is reminding yourself that you have the power to choose your thoughts. And the more you train your mind to consciously make happiness a top priority, the sooner you'll emulate it.
Now, I know this advice is, of course, easier said than done, but psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. In their book How We Choose to Be Happy, authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks state, "Intention is the active desire and commitment to be happy . . . It's the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness." So, as Bobby McFerrin once sang, "Don't worry, be happy." Or, in this case, don't worry, choose happy.
Declutter your mind by taking a mental inventory.
Like your home, every so often your mind needs a good decluttering, too. By externalising your thoughts — whether that be through writing, meditation [4], you name it — you can take a mental inventory and create a clear picture of how you've been investing your time and energy. In addition, you'll be able to identify the things that bring you peace and joy, including what doesn't.
Once you've recognised the positive and negative sources, you can then start to act accordingly. Whether it's something — or someone — it will be much easier to "look on the bright side" once you've eliminated the negative elements holding you back.
Disconnect to reconnect.
As convenient as social media [5] can be for connection, studies have shown [6] the more time we stay glued to the screen, the more likely we are to develop depression. So if you've been feeling anxious, stressed out, or like you're sliding into a funk, consider unplugging via a digital detox [7]. Whether it's a few days, weeks, or — in my case — months, you will provide your mind the time to recalibrate and reconnect to what's most important.
Stop saying "yes" when you actually mean "no."
The two-letter word "no" can be quite intimidating. I get it. But the more we incorporate it into our vocabulary [8], the more natural it will feel when rolling off our tongue. So if you're not pumped up with excitement with each new opportunity or request that comes your way, say "no" (that is, unless it's your boss). Trust me — it might feel weird at first, but your happiness level will improve in the long run.
Reexamine your spending habits.
They say money can't buy happiness, and I agree. But I'd be the first to attest it can help. No, I'm not insinuating to splurge on that big-ticket item you've been eyeing. Instead, I'm encouraging you to put your hard-earned cash toward something with a much longer impact: experiences [9]. Because when it comes to satisfaction, science has proved [10] memories last a lot longer than materials.
Look for the good.
Even on the worst of days, we all have things to be thankful for. So why not celebrate even the smallest victories? From our beating hearts to the roof over our heads and the clothes on our backs, acknowledging appreciation [11] for even the most basic of needs is one of the quickest ways to boost our mood. The best part? Expressing gratitude [12] has a tremendous ripple effect.
Let go of the bad.
Despite how hard it can be to let go, holding grudges and nursing grievances can undoubtedly affect your mental and physical health, as mulling over transgression is a form of chronic stress. But by fostering forgiveness and removing the toxins of resentment from your mind, you'll inadvertently make more room for happiness to reside.
Prioritise self-care.
Health is wealth. In other words, your overall health [13] — physical, mental, emotional — is one of the most important factors in your life, and it deserves to be prioritised. Eat real food [14]. Make time for movement, aka exercise [15], if you're able. Take that long, hot bath you've been dreaming of. Self-care [16] is not an indulgence; it's a necessity for well-being. Because think about it: you can't take care of others if you're not taking care of yourself.
Remember the power of the present.
Just as Gretchen Rubin (yes, her again) famously stated, "The days are long but the years are short"; time is notorious for slipping away, especially when we're spending it thinking about the future or the past. Yet once you remember the power of the present [17], I guarantee you'll start to recognise all the beautiful joy that comes with living in the moment.