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I Would Have Monitored My Eating

I never gave my body the opportunity to experience hunger because I always had access to food, and I was eating at least seven times a day: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, then a late-night snack or sometimes two, depending on how late I was up.

Before college, I'd feel so embarrassed, watching my grandma wrap leftover food from restaurants in napkins and put them in her purse for later. But in college, I saw what a brilliant idea that was! I took bagels, brownies, and rice krispie treats from the dining hall, and would pull one out during class or while studying late at night.

I also had a fridge in my dorm room, which was always stocked with orange mango juice and lemonade (I never drank water)l, and I kept tons of granola bars, chips, crackers, and other snacks in my desk drawer.

I was constantly eating, and when I did, I didn't have any clue that I should monitor my portion sizes. Twice a day, I'd visit the dining hall, and because it was all-you-can eat, I ate until I was stuffed. If I made dinner in the dorm, I'd cook half a box of pasta and add it to a can of tomato soup, and eat that with handfuls of oyster crackers, followed by a mini loaf of banana bread that I'd buy from the store downstairs.

Going to bed stuffed meant that when I woke up, I wasn't even hungry, but it didn't matter because everyone was going to the dining hall for Belgian waffles and french toast. So I'd follow along and eat anyway, and just kept repeating that cycle every single day.