After you've figured out the boundaries you want to set, you need to continue that inner monologue and ask yourself the important questions. "When struggling to establish or maintain boundaries, it is helpful to break down the circumstances surrounding the issue," Diana Concannon, PsyD, a licenced psychologist and dean of the California School of Forensic Studies at Alliant International University, told POPSUGAR.
"Be curious and nonjudgmental," Dr. Concannon explained. "Ask: Is this a struggle I have generally, or with a particular individual or situation? What would setting an appropriate boundary look like to me? Is there a consequence I fear or dread if I set an appropriate boundary? Is it possible to discuss this situation directly with the individual with whom I am experiencing this struggle to diffuse the situation? If not, what would make me feel most comfortable in taking the risk in setting the boundary I need? What will I do to support myself if the consequence I dread occurs?"
These questions will all help you figure out how to start having the necessary conversations to set boundaries in your life, especially if even the thought of taking that first step toward stresses you out. It can be understandably scary to have to put up walls between you and those in your life, but the conversation starts within.