Jada Pinkett Smith on Creating the Type of Relationship That Works For You
PS: In your opinion, how could someone approach the conversation of having an open relationship with their partner? Especially if they've been in a long-term monogamous relationship?
JPS: Sometimes you just have to be patient and you have to wait for that opening to even have the conversation. But if you can find something within entertainment like our Red Table Talk on polyamory or Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, then you can start a conversation about the subject matter that is not connected to your personal relationship and just see where your partner is sitting.
"Sometimes it takes really having to sit in that pain by yourself and be alone to find that strength within yourself and find the jewel of your heart, and of your spirit, that makes you who you are."
You could approach it by saying, "Oh, wow. I thought that was kind of cool, what did you think about it?" Or you could say something like, "I thought it was interesting that he had this girl and that the relationship worked when she was there, but it didn't work when she wasn't." I think that's an interesting way to at least see how wide the opening is for communication about it.
When you're talking about intimate relationships, those intimate relationships are sitting on some very deep trauma buttons. You don't even realise it until you start to move into certain directions. And so it's a very gentle, patient process.