These phrases, when uttered flippantly, dismiss your child's emotions and make them think that what they're feeling is wrong or unimportant. Dr. Jamie Long, Psy.D, says: "Invalidation is one of the most damageing forms of emotional abuse. What's scary, it can be one of the most subtle and unintentional abuses."
When your son is upset, sad, angry, or expressing emotion, avoid these responses:
- You're too sensitive.
- Boys don't cry.
- You're fine.
- Stop being a baby.
- You have no reason to be upset.
- Man up!
- Get it out of your system.
- It's not that big of a deal.
- Calm down!
- You shouldn't feel that way.
- You're taking this too personally.
- You're just tired.