The truth is we don't always know EXACTLY how our child feels, so saying you do can cause them to shut down. Being truthful by saying you don't know how they feel, but you still hear what they're saying, is a great way to show them you are truly listening. "Parents can repeat back to the child what they hear and check in with their child for accuracy," continues Dr. Westers. "This will help you make sure the parent truly is hearing what they're saying."