I don't know why it's easier to yell than connect with my toddlers some days, but Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's book can help. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk ($17, originally $18) is about how parents can cope with your child's negative feelings, how parents can express strong feelings without being hurtful, how to set firm limits while maintaining goodwill, and how to use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline, among other things.