This is a story about Elle . . .

. . . And Lee.

They're best friends with the exact same birthday — so cute.

There's a montage of them growing up and Elle's mom dying, and now we're here.

In case you think this is a story about Elle and Lee realising they love each other, it's not.

This is about Elle and Lee's brother, Noah, realising they love each other. Complicated!

One day, Elle comes to school with her old (very ill-fitting) skirt on.

Everyone at the school is like, "Whoa."

One guy even asks if there's a new girl at school, because he does not recognise that butt.

Look at these d-bags.

Anyway, some dude is a jerk to Elle and Noah hits him.

Here's a group of girls that Elle calls the "OMG Girls" because their names are Olivia, Mia, and Gwyneth.

So that guy who assumes Elle is a slut because of her skirt is all, "How can I make it up to you?"

Elle dares him to wear a skirt in class and LOL he does it!

This dude isn't important, but he's always taking pictures "for the yearbook."

Noah is strictly unimpressed by the whole situation.

That jerk stands Elle up.

But wait! It's not his fault — Noah told him he couldn't date Elle.

Elle's like, "WTF bro."

So she calls him all mad.

He's shirtless.

Fast-forward to the Big Party at Lee and Noah's house.

The OMG Girls are there, so you KNOW it's poppin'.

Lee is obsessed with one of them (I think the "M" one?) and makes this creepy gesture.

The OMG Girls want Elle to drink some green sh*t.

Elle resists.

Then IMMEDIATELY buckles to peer pressure.

Meanwhile, Noah is just making out with some rando.

Fast-forward through a drinking montage and Elle is dancing on a table.

Lee is cautiously like, "LOL."

But then Elle starts stripping and he's like, "Naw, dawg."

Elle wakes up in Noah's bed the next day and checks to make sure she still has underwear on.

Noah comes in shirtless, because the producers burned all his shirts.

At one point, they end up tumbling on the floor together.

Elle and Lee get into a paint fight at school and Elle "accidentally" ends up shirtless in the boys' locker room.

Noah gets mad at Elle, but Elle's not having ANY. OF. HIS. ISH.

So she dances around for all the guys, who are honestly way too excited about this.

Noah's not impressed, but he's also kind of impressed.

Enter THE TITULAR KISSING BOOTH.

In which high schoolers agree to make out with other students while blindfolded.

Does no one else find this problematic? No one at all?

On Lee's turn, everyone is disappointed that his brother isn't participating.

The OMG Girls are being b*tches about it.

Then there's this girl, who we've literally not seen once in this film so far.

They kiss.

And BOOM! Girlfriend-boyfriend.

The OMG Girls shove Elle out because they think a dork is next up in line.

And they kiss!

Yearbook Guy has his phone out SO FAST.

This girl with really uncomfortable headgear is mildly disgusted.

Elle removes her blindfold . . .

. . . And they finally see each other.

AND THEY KISS SO HARD.

The whole world spins.

THE SIGNS BURST INTO FIRE BEHIND THEM.

Then they realise everyone is watching.

They all clap after this but for a solid three seconds everyone is just in shock.

The spell is broken and Elle is immediately worried about how to tell Lee.

She tells him, and he's not so pleased.

Elle jogs home, with no explanation whatsoever.

Until Noah picks her up and they go to his secret makeout spot.

A few days later, there's a beach party and this dude Warren is a massive A-hole to Elle.

Noah gets defencive.

Warren becomes even more of a jackass.

Noah punches Warren and again, Headgear Girl is upset.

Later that night, Elle and Noah full-on have sex . . .

. . . Under the Hollywood sign.

Elle and Noah agree to see each other in secret, and hijinks ensue!

They spend the next few weeks just having sex everywhere.

One day, Noah and Elle are hanging out when two important things happen.

Lee sees them together, and immediately thinks his hot-tempered brother hit Elle.

Elle defends Noah, saying she just fell (which is true).

Lee leaves, so they take the opportunity to make out.

SURPRISE! LEE'S BACK!

GOTCHA!

Lee becomes furious and Noah pins him to the ground.

Because there's no better way to calm someone down than by physically restraining them.

Elle is devastated.

So Lee and Noah's mom comes to chat with her.

Elle tries to apologise with ice cream.

REQUEST DENIED.

Whatever, they make up like two scenes later.

And Elle has her classic prom reveal.

Elle goes to prom with Lee and his girlfriend, who may or may not be a 30-year-old substitute teacher.

The live band is playing a cover of U2's "Right Here Right Now," every teenager's favourite song!

And there's a heavily implied gay romance???

All the students are led into a hall of photos.

But here's the kicker: THE KISSING BOOTH IS BACK.

Lee and his lady get to revisit the site of their first kiss.

And Elle finally feels content.

And then Noah ruins everything by being hella hot.

Lee isn't stoked.

Noah tells Elle he loves her, and her reaction is pretty, pretty, pretty mixed.

So Noah decides to go to college early.

But wait! It's Noah and Elle's birthday.

Elle can't stand it and tells Lee that she loves his brother.

Lee tells her he thinks she's making a mistake, but he'll support her anyway.

Lee knows where Elle can find Noah, so they hop in the car.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

THAT'S NOT LEE! IT'S NOAH!

Elle tells Noah she loves him, and everyone is cool.

They go back to that greenhouse(?) where they made out once, and make out again.

This security guard is happy for them . . . which is not weird at all.

But Noah has to go to college! Sad!

Elle tells him not to look back and wave, because it's too cheesy and romantic.

So away he goes.

He doesn't look back.

He leaves her his motorcycle, which he certainly could not have brought to Harvard with him. They don't allow motorcycles there.