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Dating App Profile Tips from Hinge Founder Justin McLeod

The Dos and Don'ts of Dating Apps, With Tips From Hinge Founder Justin McLeod

Aug 12 2019

It's been a year of living in London and not meeting that gorgeous stranger to spend my weekends with. Then I noticed that most of my friends and half of my colleagues have met their current partners on Hinge. So after years of labelling dating apps as a bit sad, I made a profile and started dating like it was my day job.

Despite being in the golden age of dating apps, I never considered giving them a try until I came across Hinge. Tinder kind of put me off since it's popular for hookups, and Bumble's design of women making the first move wasn't a huge selling point for me. Most of my friends and colleagues who tried Hinge seemed to have good experiences (for the most part) so, why the heck not? If I spend most of my life online, then why couldn't I find love there, too?

As a young millennial, we have such a complicated relationship with the internet. As much as social media is supposed to be a place of hyper-connectivity, many of us are feeling lonelier than ever. Then we factor the comparison culture of platforms like Instagram, which adds a toxic twist to how we love ourselves, and each other. Technology is absolutely transforming modern relationships, so I got in touch with Justin McLeod, the founder and CEO of Hinge, to find out why he started the popular app and how it's different from all the others.

McLeod shared that one of the main reasons why social media encourages depression and anxiety is because "the only other sort of thing in our economy that calls its customers 'users' are drug dealers." He clarified that there's "a difference between apps that are designed to give you what you're looking for and apps that sell your data to advertisers. Spotify and Uber, for example, offer a very fair and clear value exchange. That's an excellent use of technology." But what's unfortunate is that, "a lot of these tech CEOs are just tobacco-type goons in t-shirts. They're harvesting your time and getting you addicted to their products, and it has really horrible effects on us. It leads to anxiety, depression, and people's inability to connect, empathise, and be in their own bodies."

Unlike dating apps like Tinder or Bumble which are "designed around engagement, retention, and how to get people coming back." McLeod claims that Hinge is different because it's "designed to be deleted." "The clearest things that you'll see is that we have a deeper profile with prompts that get you to open up. We have 'Most Compatible' where we use an algorithm to help you cut through the noise of all the people and focus on the person who's right for you. We also have features like 'We Met' and 'Your Turn'. Everything's designed around that. And to that end, we don't have any of those game application features. You don't see the explosions, bubbles, and all of that stuff that feels like a casino. The point is not to entertain you or keep you hooked, the point is to help you find a relationship. In fact, we're the only app that even measures whether our users go on dates, and if they were good dates or not. So that is at the core of what makes us different."

My first round of Hinge dates were very uninspiring. I met a guy who ghosted me after I refused to sleep with him on the first date. Another guy I met told me that he was moving to Sri Lanka the next day, and then there was a guy who wouldn't quit talking about cloning DNA for an academic journal. Yeah, my luck hadn't gone swimmingly. But instead of giving up, I decided to have a hot girl Summer. Soon enough, I was booked for three dates a week until I got tired of hearing my own personal pitch. Suffering from daters' fatigue and very much ready to delete the app for good, I took one final after-work drink with a random from Hinge. As soon as we met, we hit it off immediately. Three months later, and we're still obsessed with each other.

At first, I thought dating apps were toxic spaces that play with your idealistic expectations and self-esteem. But now, I think my Hinge experience has taught me one of the most valuable life lessons: If it doesn't work out, it doesn't matter! There are 7.5 billion people in this world. The chances of you bumping into someone you can tolerate is highly likely. So, if you're new to the world of dating apps, or just want to take your swipe game to the next level, then keep reading for the seven best tips I've learned โ€” with input from Hinge founder Justin McLeod.

Image Source: Pexels

1. Putting Your Best Face Forward

Your profile photos can really make or break your swipe game because they work much like a digital first impression. Your first photo should be a clear, colourful picture of yourself in a good mood. A picture really is worth a thousands words so make that story positive, inviting, and a reflection of your best self. As a general rule of thumb, "there are certain things that you don't want to do," says McLeod. "Don't do six selfies in a row. Don't just do six group photos in a row. There's some common-sense things about it, like not wearing sunglasses. Ideally, people want to see your face and eyes. But beyond that, it's about being yourself."

Image Source: Pexels

2. To Connect to Facebook, or Not to Connect to Facebook

One of the things that makes Hinge so special is that you can sync your profile on the app with your Facebook network. This feature allows the app's algorithm to suggest matches based on six degrees of separation. Although you might not know, or have met your matches, it's likely that most of them are a friend of a friend of a friend. This can be helpful if you are a bit apprehensive about meeting a complete stranger. On the flip side, if you don't want someone to try finding you after a bad date then maybe it's best to keep your personal profiles out of the algorithm.

Image Source: Pexels

3. The Best (and Worst) Hinge Answers

Taking the time to thoughtfully fill in your answers can make a huge difference in the quality of people you attract. While your photo is your first impression, your answers give an opening for starting a conversation. McLeod suggets "saying something that's unique to you and spend a moment to really think about it. You're investing an extra five or ten minutes in something that could significantly make a difference in the person that you end up with for the rest of your life."

From personal experience, avoid generic answers like "Pet Peeves: Slow Walkers", or "Looking For: Someone Who Doesn't Take Themselves Too Seriously" (which I've definitely been guilty of). Some of the best answers are personal, unique, and a witty. Maybe something like, "Sign of a Good Date: When Neither of Us Check Our Phones" or "I Know The Best Spot in Town For: Good Wine with A Great View of The City."

Image Source: Pexels

4. Making The First Move

As women, many of us are a bit more reserved than our male counterparts when approaching someone we fancy. And while the digital buffer should make it a bit easier, it's never completely effortless. But in the spirit of 2019, shoot your shot! The only thing you have to lose is self-doubt. You don't have to overthink your opening, a simple "Hey, what's up? ๐Ÿ™‚" will do. Hinge answers are made for starting a conversation, so choose a part of your match's profile that interests you and take it from there.

Image Source: Pexels

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5. Taking It Offline

Once you and your person get the conversation going on the app, exchange numbers, and plan the first date ASAP. The last thing you want is to be chatting for a week via text, and by the time you actually have that first meet, all the momentum has kind of fizzled out. A coffee date, or after work drinks is a perfect first meet. Keep it short, light, and conversational, maybe an hour or two. This is the where you get out that personal spiel about family, education, work, previous relationships, and lifestyle preferences, but most importantly remember to ask โ€” "So, why did you join Hinge?", that question will save you a world of overthinking and second guessing.

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6. How to Ghost Responsibly

So, you had your first date and the spark just wasn't there (on your end, at least). And now you're in a tricky predicament where you might want to thank your person for an okay night, but prefer not to see them ever again. First of all, you don't owe an explanation to anyone you meet on an app after a first date. If the person was rude then don't even bother following up. But if they were pleasant, then it's not necessary to be savage about it. A simple, "It was nice meeting you. All the best with *insert reference from date here*. ๐Ÿ™‚" would work perfectly.

Image Source: Pexels

7. What Happens If I Get Ghosted?

In this life, take absolutely nothing personally. Nothing happens to you, but for you. And when you decide to put yourself out there again, you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience. The first time I was ghosted, I was actually gutted and confused. I thought the date went well, but I guess not. Then after a few bad dates, I realised that one of the most valuable things I learned from dating apps is that it's really not that serious. It's okay if it doesn't work out because when you do meet that special, fireworks person, you'll be glad the that others didn't bring that spark.

Image Source: Pexels

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