Similar to code switching, or the act of filtering your behaviour and language, Black women mute themselves to make colleagues feel more comfortable. Up until last year, I would straighten my hair for every job interview. As a fashion editor, I'm very familiar with the industry standards. The fashion industry has a specific look they recruit: thin, white, and straight hair. Fashion runways have proven this to be the winning equation. Since I am not white nor, by fashion standards, thin, I'd straighten my hair and then put it in a low bun or ponytail, to convey an "expert in my field" appearance and get my foot in the door. After cutting all my hair off in 2018, I quickly started examining this twisted way of thinking and formed my own opinions based on my comfort and ideas of professionalism.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of We Should All Be Feminists wrote, "Relaxing your hair is like being in prison. You're always battling to make your hair do what it wasn't meant to do." I decided to do the big chop because it was inherently clear that my hair did not want to be straight anymore. Trying to force it out of it's natural element became pointless and exhausting. Why was I trying so hard to fit in? Since cutting my hair, I've felt an overwhelming confidence and beauty. I realised I was playing a part that was serving everyone but me.
"I was always sceptical to wear braids to work, and I'm just tired of it," Stewart told me as she recounted why she felt the need to look put together all the time. "I should be able to do what I want with my hair without getting a million questions for it. If that means my hair is in 'neat' braids or bouncy curls, that is up to me — it's not my job to come to work to please you."
Like many naturals, she questioned going the extra mile to make others feel comfortable. It takes a lot of energy to do that and is mentally taxing. We've learned that we don't need to conform, and we've decided to not lower to the status quo, but raise it.