Popsugar News Out Loud What Is a Microaggression Against a Transgender Person? 20 Microaggressions Transgender People Are Tired of Hearing 14 January 2019 by Serena Sonoma Image Source: Getty / Andy Andrews Conventional wisdom tells us that backhanded compliments are not cute — as a matter of fact, they are not compliments at all. They're nothing more than thinly disguised insults, and when it comes to marginalized groups, they're frequently microaggressions. By definition, a microaggression is a comment or action that expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group. I am a black transgender woman, and I face these microaggressions daily, while scrolling through Tinder or simply walking down a sidewalk minding my own business. Microaggressions surrounding my gender identity can come in the form of "I didn't know you were trans, you look just like a woman!" or "You're cute for a trans!" — lest we forget that the word transgender is not a noun or a verb and therefore should not be used with such incorrect and offencive grammar. I am also a transgender woman with passing privilege and one who is garnered conventionally pretty. However, although these conventional privileges allow me safer access to spaces that others within my community may not be awarded, I am doubly marginalized as a black person and transgender woman. If I am not clocked as transgender, I still face the various microaggressions that come with being a black girl; expressions such as "you're pretty for a black girl" or "what are you mixed with?" or harassment such as touching my hair or questioning my intellect on a given subject. These types of microaggressions aren't just situational to me but to the transgender community as a whole. Every day, cisgender people harass my community with these forms of microaggression — even if it's unintentional. With that in mind, I asked people in the transgender and nonconforming community to share microaggressions they have experienced at least once in their lifetimes in the hopes of educating everyone on what qualifies as a compliment — and what's downright offencive. Oh *also* one guy told me that he was glad I didn't identify as a woman because that meant I couldn't use my femininity to attack him. I was like... pic.twitter.com/tA6M3oR9Ah— Lola 🌜 (@TheirNameIsLola) January 6, 2019 1 / 21 "But you're so pretty! Why would you want to be anything other than a woman?"What???— benji (@SaltInMyTea) January 6, 2019 2 / 21 someone who consistently misgenders me once told me they wanted to get a robot that they would refer to with they/them pronouns so they could practice referring to me as they/them and i just thought.... or you could just practice not misgendering me.. like in real life......— bowlcut (@mx_dork) January 5, 2019 3 / 21 "You won the penis lottery. It's such a shame that you want to throw that away." 🙄(meanwhile in my head) It's going to make a bomb-ass vagina when I get bottom surgery, tho. Just you wait and see.— 🚩Millicent Ⓥ neo-Dukeist 🏴 🛠️ 🔇 (@churusaa) January 6, 2019 4 / 21 “Oh wow I really thought you were a girl. That’s a great costume”— Kate: substitute art witch (@ArmyOfMeat) January 5, 2019 5 / 21 i didn't know you're trans, you're pretty for a transgender, from cis girls I get omg wow you're so much prettier than me I don't get it, wow youre so pretty and I was born a female, you look like a reeaall girl, etc— seneca (@lemonadeveins) January 5, 2019 6 / 21 After someone recognized my daughter & then realized she’s trans: “Wow, but she actually looks like and sounds like a girl!” Me: “Ummm, because she is.” 🤔— Debi Jackson (@the_debijackson) January 6, 2019 7 / 21 “I would have never guessed you were trans! You look so good!”“Wow you look just like a real man!”“You’re fine as fuck...too bad I’m not into trans guys”“I’m usually not into trans men, but I can make an exception for you”— Muting/Blocking = Self Care (@QueeringPsych) January 5, 2019 8 / 21 "Didn't expect a trans model to be able to walk(runway), good job!""we hire you for your look, not your voice, and you at least got that going""Wow, your skin is better than a real woman"— Mia Mulder (@Potatopolitics) January 5, 2019 9 / 21 “How do you have a better job than me??”“You’re so beautiful, I didn’t know you were trans.”— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) January 5, 2019 10 / 21 “You are so lucky! You’ll never suffer from PMS” 🙄— Jen J.J. Henderson (@JJHenderson2010) January 6, 2019 11 / 21 “You’re so brave!”“You’re so fashionable!” or “I wish I could wear what you wear!” (when wearing a t and jeans)“Love your hair and/or makeup!” (after rolling out of bed)“Love your lipstick!” (it’s Chapstick)“Are they real? They look real.” (they are, please stop staring)— jady bug (@rabid_child) January 6, 2019 12 / 21 Someone once told me “I’ll always think of you as [deadname]” in that self-congratulatory accepting tone. I was like, “You better not.” It was at my grandfather’s funeral too 🙃— Cameron Van Sant (@cameronvansant) January 5, 2019 13 / 21 I work at a library, and my well intentioned coworkers always point out the "boys wearing dresses" picture books to me because I am apparently the leader of all gender nonconforming media in the entire branch.— an utter tart (@lass4memes) January 5, 2019 14 / 21 “You were an ‘okay looking’ guy, before, don’t get me wrong. But seeing how you can look like this now, wow! I just can’t understand, why did you wait so long?”— Dawn Ennis (@lifeafterdawn) January 6, 2019 15 / 21 Cishet man: "I'm not gay but *sexually explicit comment*"— GayFae Poly GF (@SheGayFay) January 5, 2019 16 / 21 "you were such a hot guy, but I guess you still look cool" it amazes me how much my societal value was and is image bound— Andrea Stratis (@andreastratis) January 6, 2019 17 / 21 “I wouldn’t know you were trans if I saw you in a crowd”(They would not even see me at all, crowd or no crowd)“You must be soooo strong”, “I admire your strength”(When I’m asking for help 'cause I’m not strong and need anything but their frigging “admiration”)— The MegaBitch (@TheMegaBitch) January 6, 2019 18 / 21 i’ve gotten “I just miss when you were a g*rl, you were so pretty” and shittier variations of that “compliment”— ris (@starboyris) January 5, 2019 19 / 21 My favorite was "you're the best of both worlds!" when i came out to someoneMy response was that, actually, I'm the worst of both— Absolute Ghoul (@GothFlorist) January 6, 2019 20 / 21 Image Source: Paramount Pictures via Giphy It's important that we bring visibility to these microaggressive comments that cisgender people may be ignorant of understanding. As a transgender person, it is my hope that you can spare us the unnecessary microaggressions and allow us the agency to be who we are. As a matter of fact, consider making it your job. 21 / 21 Out LoudTransgender