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How to Fake-Clean Your House, Because Who Has Time to Do It For Real?

How to Fake-Clean Your House

How to Fake-Clean Your House, Because Who Has Time to Do It For Real?

How to Fake-Clean Your House
Image Source: Pexels / rawpixel.com

If you're a parent of young children, two things about your home are probably true. One, you spend more time in your house than ever, and two, you have even less time to keep it clean. This becomes clearer (and yet somehow more clutter-filled) than ever around the holidays, when visitors are abundant and time is even more scarce. If hiring a cleaning lady isn't in your budget, don't fear. We have some supereasy tips to fake a clean house in such an expert way that not even your very observant mother-in-law will notice. Follow these steps, and Grandma and Grandpa, the ladies attending your cookie exchange, and the parent at your next play date will be convinced you've spent hours scrubbing, dusting, and mopping. Here's a room-by-room breakdown.

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1 Living Room

Living Room
Image Source: Pexels / Sarah Jane
  1. Flip your couch cushions. Save side of sofa cushions for guests. Flip cushions to the good side before your visitors arrive; flip them back when they're gone. If you still have stains, use pillows and throws to disguise them.
  2. Hide clutter. Use small and large baskets to hide toys and loose items. Let the kids help. Stack books, catalogues, and magazines in neat piles.
  3. Clean usable surfaces. Wipe down your coffee table and side tables or any other place that visitors are likely to use or touch. Use a lint roller or damp rubber gloves to pick up pet hair on furniture if you don't have time to vacuum.
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2 Kitchen

Kitchen
Image Source: Pexels / rawpixel.com
  1. Clean counters. This is the most important step because it's probably the only thing your guests will notice.
  2. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. If this can't happen, store them in a pot to be dealt with later or fill your sink with hot water and dish soap until it's bubbly, then pop in your dishes, which are now hidden under suds.
  3. Stash away paper piles. Move piles of mail and school forms to a drawer, cabinet, or mud room to be dealt with later.
  4. Light a candle. Cover up odors of meals gone by and unemptied trash cans with a candle or infuser. If you really want to impress for the holiday, boil water with fragrant extras like orange peels, lemon wedges, cloves, cinnamon sticks, and vanilla extract.
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3 Bathroom

Bathroom
Image Source: Pexels / rawpixel.com
  1. Clean the toilet. This is enemy number one, especially if you have a boy of the errant pee variety. Give the bowl a quick scrub and wipe down the seat.
  2. Wipe down surfaces. Remove any personal items to keep surfaces clear. Use the current hand towel to wipe the sink, mirror, and any other dusty surfaces. Hang a fresh hand towel, which will immediately make the room look cleaner. Empty the trash can and wipe that down, too, if necessary.
  3. Stock up, and light a candle. Make sure there's extra toilet paper and plenty of hand soap. Then light a candle to make things smell fresh.
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4 Kids' Rooms

Kids' Rooms
Image Source: Pexels / Pixabay
  1. Tame the clutter. Stack books neatly. Stow toys and stuffed animals in baskets or hide them in a closet or play tent. Remove dirty clothes.
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5 Entryway

Entryway
Image Source: Pexels / Jessica Lewis
  1. Clear out extra shoes and coats. Get everything off the floor. Move those items you aren't using regularly to bedrooms and those you are to coat racks or closets.
  2. Shake off your doormats. Vacuum or shake out your inside and outside doormats to make a good first impression.
  3. Turn on extra lights. A super dark house can feel dingy. Extra lights makes your home look bright and welcoming.
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