How Stay-at-Home Moms Feel About Their Working Spouse
I’m a Stay-at-Home Mom, and I'm Jealous of My Working Husband
Every weekday morning, my husband gets up for work, he has bathroom time . . . alone, takes a long, hot shower, and even has time to shave. He comes downstairs when he's all done, looking well-rested and fresh due to zero interruptions and minimal sleeplessness, then proceeds to leave for the day. The entire day. He drives to work by himself, can listen to whatever music he wants, goes to an office where other adults greet him, and sips on fresh, hot coffee. At lunchtime, he gets to eat his entire lunch at his leisure, use the office bathroom whenever he needs to (again, ALONE), then comes home to a hot dinner on the stove and carefree playtime with a happy kiddo who's elated to see him. What a life.
There are many days when my blood boils with envy for my husband's life. Sometimes its just downright hard to not want what he has.
While I love taking care of my daughter, I admit there are many, many days when my blood boils with envy for my husband's life. Sometimes its just downright hard to not want what he has. I rarely get to shower, and if I do, it's not alone (someone is always hovering, watching, or asking questions). And time to shave? HA! Shaving flew out the window with a lot of other things after we had a kid. Toddler potty breaks, mediating sharing, or dividing up snacks at a play date is constantly interrupting my very limited adult time. If I'm lucky to have a grown-up conversation, it's being rambled off so fast that it's barely comprehensive.
I don't have the choice to leave every morning. I don't get to come home to dinner and a happy toddler. I have to deal with the tantrums, the tears, the poop, the hitting, and, oh yes, other toddlers. My life as I know it revolves entirely around my child. I'm lucky if I get one minute to brush my teeth in the morning without having to play dolls first, or preventing her from injuring herself with one of the million life-threatening ideas she somehow conjures up before 9 a.m.
But here's the thing — my husband is just as jealous of me. While he's away having his adult conversations and eating his sandwich and chips without having to share with a drooling kid, he's missing all the moments I get to experience every day. He may get the happy kid for an hour at night, but I get a happy kid all the time (well, most of the time).
In between the tears and struggles, I get to spend every day with this amazing little human being. I may never get to go to the bathroom on my own, and I may have greasy hair most days, but I get to be there for all of it, and let me tell you, the good outweighs the bad in every case. I get to cuddle those tears away, praise those moments of success, and savor every new milestone. I may wish some days that I could walk out of the door at 7 a.m. and return at 6 p.m., but to be honest, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than with my girl.
When I think about how fast she's grown already, I'm reminded that she isn't always going to need me as much as she does right now. She'll continue to grow up quickly, and one day I'll get to shower alone again, blow-dry my hair, and yes, shave my legs! I'll have adult conversations, and I'll be so much more appreciative of it all because I spent so much precious time with my daughter. I'll look back on these years we're sharing and will be so thankful that my husband was able to leave every morning so that it was just the two of us.
Yes, I get jealous of my husband sometimes, but we support each other through the hard days. Nobody knows better than a parent that you can't be everywhere at once, and for now, I'm very happy right where I am.
