Skip Nav

I Don't Enjoy Being a Mom All the Time

I Don't Enjoy Every Second of Motherhood — and Honestly, I Feel Sh*tty About It

Thanks to social media, we all get to see the Pinterest-worthy mother in our feed on a daily basis. She's the mother with the perfectly matched outfits for her children. She's the mother that's always smiling and laughing. She's the mother who always has a clean house. She's the mother who bakes a million cupcakes after a full day's work and happily decorates them until 1 a.m. She's the mother who thrives during tantrums, spit-ups, and sibling fights. She is not me.

While we all know that social media only showcases people's best moments, I know that these mothers are real. I've seen them in person and have heard them talking at school functions — smiling and soaking up chaotic mornings, gushing about how sleepless nights mean they just get to spend more time with their baby, and never having a public meltdown even when their child runs away from them in the middle of a busy parking lot. They have it all under control, and they love every chaotic, hard, heartbreaking, and tiring moment. As much as I envy them, I just don't get it. How could they enjoy every second of motherhood? Don't get me wrong — I love being a mom more than anything, but there are moments when I want to scream.

How can some mothers enjoy every second of motherhood? Don't get me wrong — I love being a mom more than anything, but there are moments when I want to scream.

You know the moms I'm talking about — the ones that are so in love with motherhood at all times while me (and most other mothers I know) swear under our breath before getting the kids into the car in the morning. We leave the house without brushing our own teeth — let alone our kids'. Our cars look like garbage dumps with processed food wrappers serving as the floor. In other words, we're sometimes a bit of a mess. Although we all love motherhood, we don't seem to revel in every aspect of it like they do.

How do they do it? Really. I want to know. Being a mother didn't come naturally to me at first, but the joy it brings me goes unmatched. When my children were babies, I loved being woken up in the morning by listening to their coos through the monitor. I adored watching all of their firsts, too. But there is so much of it that is not beautiful. But for the perfectly content mothers, everything is.

It makes me feel less than. No, I shouldn't compare. No one should. All mothers are badass superheroes, but sometimes we can't help it. When I see a mother happily reprimand her child (and her child promptly listen to her in response), I just think, "What the hell am I doing wrong?"

To all you blissful mothers out there, keep doing your thing, but maybe throw in the occasional F-bomb? Maybe don't brush your hair one day? Maybe give me that comforting "I've been there" look instead of a pity smile? Because then that way, the rest of us — the moms who don't or can't hide the rough sides of parenting — will feel more like we're in this together instead of like we're falling behind.

Editor's Note: This piece was written by a POPSUGAR contributor and does not necessarily reflect the views of POPSUGAR Inc. Interested in joining our POPSUGAR Voices network of contributors from around the globe? Click here.

Latest parenting