They give our child attention.
In a digitally distracted world, attention can be hard to come by. We are bombarded with emails, social media notifications, news alerts, texts, and calls. With more and more parents working from home now, it's easy to give children only half of our attention. Studies have shown that even though more women are joining the workforce, they are caring for their children more than parents in the 1960s. However, although parents are physically present more than ever, they are not as emotionally engaged with their children. And this is hurting our children's growth and development, research has found.
However, with time-ins, the rules are clear: no phones, no technology, no TV for the designated amount of time. And that is easy when parents know they have a set time limit. I am not ruminating over my to-do list when I know that in 10-20 minutes, I can go take care of my chores and work. In addition, I find myself unequivocally enjoying myself more with my child when my full attention is directed on him. In fact, I have even found myself occasionally adding on more minutes to our time-in.
Then, when the time-in is finished, you can announce to your child that you are going to be close by if he or she needs you, but you will be doing "Mommy or Daddy work" now. Be firm if your child whines or fusses right away, demanding your attention. Dr. Karp suggests connecting with respect by speaking in toddlerese and getting down to your child's height and matching his level of emotion. "Charlie, Charlie mad, mad, mad. Mommy won't play. But Mommy finish play. Mommy work, work, work now. Play later." Find a toy to distract him with, then carry on with your work, occasionally jumping in for a quick time-in if what you are doing will last over a half hour. Sometimes all your toddler needs to be satisfied is a five-minute time-in.