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Hannah's List Reasons Not to Kill Herself on 13 Reasons Why

The Secret List Hannah Was Keeping on 13 Reasons Why Will Break Your Heart

13 Reasons Why

Spoilers for the final episode in 13 Reasons Why season two below!

The first season of 13 Reasons Why is a gut-wrenching journey through high school student Hannah Baker's list of reasons she decided to take her own life. She explains the meaning and people behind each reason over the course of 13 cassette tapes, which eventually make their way into the hands of her classmate and crush, Clay Jensen. By the season one finale, we're well aware of Hannah's tragic motivations, but that doesn't necessarily make her final act any easier to swallow. But what if we told you she also had a list of reasons why not?

Season two of Netflix's teen drama is just as emotionally brutal as the first, digging into the court case between Hannah's parents and the school district. As various witnesses testify — Clay, Tyler, Courtney, Mr. Porter, Tony, Zach, Bryce, etc. — brand new-flashbacks reveal there's far more to Hannah's story than we initially thought. We discover she had a secret romance with Zach, was one of the few people who tried to befriend Tyler, and even hung out with Bryce a few times when she first started going to school at Liberty. The final episode of the season also reveals that Hannah had a secret list of reasons she shouldn't kill herself.

Her mother, Olivia, gives the list to Clay following Hannah's memorial service, tearfully noting that there are 11 reasons ("just two short"). It's a beautiful, heartbreaking moment, especially when you read what Hannah wrote. From a future relationship with Clay to her desire to move to New York City, here are all the reasons Hannah almost didn't do what she did.

  • Mom and Dad: They will blame themselves, and it's not their fault.
  • New York: I could get there someday. If not college, then after college. And maybe I could start over there.
  • Clay: He will also think it's his fault, and it isn't. He'll think he could have saved me. But we can't save people, not that way at least — it's more complicated than that.
  • Writing: I might, might write something great one day. Get it published. Even be a writer. Seems unlikely — but possible.
  • Dad: Loves me without question. Always wants what's best for me. Even though I'm mad at him, it would be unfair to him to leave.
  • Mom: I don't know if she could live through it. She is always so on edge already. But maybe that's already my fault. I know she loves me — I wish she knew that I knew.
  • Mom and Dad: Worked so hard to give me a better life. Would be letting them down.
  • Helmet: Is a genuinely good guy. And I genuinely like him. And maybe we're supposed to be together. Don't know. But maybe. If I go, we'll never find out.
  • Maybe: Someday I could make a difference in someone else's life.
  • Maybe: I'll have a kid of my own one day, and maybe she could be that someone else.
  • Maybe: It's not as bad as I think it is. Maybe it will get better.
Image Source: Netflix
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