Everyone deals with tough spots, whether it's a major family issue, career-related upset, or health scare. What you need to know is how they work through a crisis. Stanger says it's not ideal if they avoid the problem, throw their hands up, or run in the other direction. This demonstrates an inability — or an unwillingness — to deal with their own emotions and to problem-solve. Perfection isn't necessary here. Nobody is perfect. It's that drive to remain positive and find resolve that matters most.
One sign that your partner can work through a crisis is if they're open to therapy. "Being willing to undergo counseling, to me, is a sign of maturity and willingness," says Ross. "I do believe people who seek therapy end up having better insight, which tends to lead to healthier relationships."
Another good barometer is to see what they're like during the holidays or while travelling, which can both be pretty stressful events. Again, nobody is perfect — and you shouldn't expect flawless superhero problem-solving — but how your partner handles difficult situations before marriage is how they'll likely handle them after. Make sure you're OK with their approach.