Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child
5 Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child
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I wish I could have said, "Daddy, remember the first time you asked mommy out on a date? Remember your first day at a new job? Or remember the time when you got in that bike accident? Maybe your parents knew everything was going to be OK, too, but you didn't know that. You experienced real fear. My fear is real, too."
Here's what we know: Research shows anxiety initiates a fear alarm inside your child's mind and body. It's a false alarm, but nevertheless, it feels very real. That alarm is for protection; your child feels "stress" or "fear" in order to survive. To make sure one is really paying attention, the mind might even exaggerate the object of the worry (e.g., mistaking a stick for a snake).
Try this: Validate your child's emotions. You can say, "I see that you're scared. I've been scared before, too, and I know what that feels like."