Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child
5 Things You Should Never Say to an Anxious Child
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I wish I could have said, "I know you don't understand, but I need you to try. I need you to try to understand what I'm going through. Put your hand on my racing heart, listen to my shallow breath, look at me . . . this is real. I want you to understand. I need you to understand. Please tell me you get it. Please."
Here's what we know: When a child is anxious, they feel scared and helpless. If you also feel helpless as a parent, empathy can help guide your actions. By stepping into your child's shoes and understanding their feelings and perspectives, your reaction to their needs will be more authentic and in line with their needs.
Try this: When your child feels anxious, try to recall a time when you felt true fear. Then connect with your child using these three words: "I get it." Let your child know that you see that they are going through something challenging. Let your child know that you really see them.
On a final note, I wanted to say something to my parents and to all parents on behalf of anxious children: "We, too, get it. We understand what you sacrifice for us. We know that our pain and struggle become your own. We know that even on the days you feel completely helpless, you still try to support us — and you do. By never losing faith and never giving up, you are our models of grit and perseverance. Thank you."