"This suggests to the child that they're incompetent and that you don't have the patience to allow them to wrestle with it and find their way," Dr. Lapointe stressed. "If they never get to figure things out on their own, how will they ever develop skill and capacity?" Whether it's as simple as opening something for them or taking control of a school project, children need to learn how to do things for themselves and that it's OK to fail. In failure, children learn, grow, and get to try again.