"We're just not as close as we used to be."
The Fight: As relationships mature, it's only natural that the connection ebbs and flows. Some years might be stronger, but, more often than not, they feel more distant thanks to ongoing resentments. "The reason you don't feel as close is because you've built up walls of judgement over the years of being together," Heer tells POPSUGAR.
The Fix: "Let go of every resentment you have toward your partner every single day and destroy and uncreate all of the judgements that have accumulated every day, so you don't carry them into the next day," Heer says. Easier said than done? Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for about your partner every day. "Do this on a daily basis because you can either have gratitude or judgement," Heer says. "By having this always-growing list, you can look back on it, eliminate judgement, and make possible a level of closeness that is more like what you had when you first started dating."