"Why don't you ever have my back?"
The Fight: "People think you should be on the same side if you're in a relationship," Heer says. In a lot of respects, that's a fair expectation, but two distinct people — who are experiencing personal growth and evolving through the years — might not always have beliefs that sync up.
The Fix: "The reality is you have to have the willingness for your partner to have another point of view and to not support your point of view if that's not what they believe," Heer advises. "You also need to learn to have 'allowance,' which is where everything your partner chooses is just an interesting point of view and thus not something for you to have a judgement about."