Blah, blah, blah, missionary is the worst, blah, blah. This is what we've all been told in the wake of sexual liberation. Women no longer have to lie back in this tired position. Now that we are sexually free, the position options abound and we can do away with missionary.
Um, hold up. Missionary is the best. I know that is an unpopular opinion, but it's true.
You get to lie back and relax, you can totally focus on your pleasure, and you have full access to your partner's face for sloppy makeouts. It's intimate and sexy to have your bodies smooshed together in all that sexy, melty goodness.
"Lie back and think of England"? More like lie back and do zero work during sex, so yay.
The issue arises when you're not doing missionary correctly. If you're hating on missionary, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess it's because you're not having orgasms during missionary.
Don't throw missionary to the bottom of the bucket along with your worn-out sex toys. You don't want to deprive yourself of the gloriousness that is old faithful. Here is how to make missionary your most orgasmic position ever. You are so welcome in advance.
1. The pillow method
For women, missionary's greatest design flaw is the lack of clitoral stimulation that comes with straight-up spread-eagle sex. It's hard to reach down and touch yourself when your partner's abdomen is squishing you and the pelvis is too far down to rub against. Your partner runs into the same problem. He or she is busy staying upright.
Enter coital alignment technique (CAT), or the pillow method (the cute name I made up). What you need to get in on that pelvic action is a lift. Take two to three pillows and place them under your butt for some extra elevation. This will allow your partner to hit your G-spot and give you the ability to rub your clit against his or her pelvis. Boom. Orgasms galore.
2. Get Eva
Dame Products is a company founded by women for women. Its innovative vibrator, Eva, makes missionary the best position ever. You'd think I was making money with how much I push this vibrator, but I'm not. It's just life-changing.
Eva looks like a beetle. It is small, cute, and nonthreatening to any partner. Its wings hook under the labia, while its body sits on the clitoris, giving you clit action while having penetrative sex, completely hands-free.
While you can use Eva in any position, the weight of your partner's body pushing down on an already buzzing vibrator will get you off in just a few minutes. This toy legitimately made me multi-orgasmic, and that rarely happens in my world.
3. Engage the nipples
Nipple play isn't for everyone, but for some of us, nipple suction or squeezing during sex can take us from a merely pleasurable experience to explosive orgasm. In missionary, your partner has easy access to your nipples. He or she can reach their head down to suck/lick/bite them.
Since you're on your back and don't require any balance, you can reach up and tease your own nips. While you can grab your nipples in a variety of positions, missionary is unique in that you are totally hands-free (unless you're rubbing your clit . . . but who says you can't have both? You do have two hands, after all).
4. Slow it down, cowgirl
Instead of going straight to Pound Town, slow the sex down. You want to concentrate on everything that is happening to your body. You don't have to choose slow sex every time you bang, but enjoying the change of pace can be the thing you need to come.
Light some candles, put on a sexy playlist on Spotify, and up the intimacy. Passionately kissing your partner while you feel their weight on top of you can help you feel close and connected. Sometimes that's all you need to achieve orgasm. Just kidding, you also need your clit engaged, but you know what I mean.
5. Introduce a little light bondage
Up all the passion set in motion by your partner's body on top of yours by adding in some handcuffs. Have your partner secure your hands above your head. This will give you the feeling of being totally consumed and ravished, which for some is very sexy.
Just be sure to get those pillows under your butt so you can get that much needed extra lift and hip tilt. Hands-free is all fun and games until you can't stimulate the clitoris.
6. Practice deep, measured breathing
In cowgirl, the only thing you're focusing on is not dying from the intense cardio workout that you are currently enduring. There is no time to breathe into anything when you're busy trying to breathe at all.
In missionary, you can focus on your breath and your body. It's a lot like meditation, only a lot sexier. It's a rare luxury in sex to have the opportunity to chill.
Lie back and breathe deeply. Feel the way the air fills and leaves in your body. The rush of oxygen can help you feel more relaxed and present, therefore helping you feel calm enough to let go and orgasm.