How to Use a Vibrator on Your Partner
7 Expert Tips on How to Use a Vibrator With Your Partner
If you and your partner are looking to explore together in bed, sex toys are a great place to start. But for beginners, it may seem like a steep learning curve since you have to consider what toy should you get, what you and your partner will both like, and what you should keep in mind for safety, storage, and budget.
The first step is to get comfortable with the different types of vibrators out there. Need a hand? Read POPSUGAR's in-depth guide on the types of vibrators out there and how to use them. Then share with your partner how you usually masturbate and what you especially love about the sex you have or the way you touch yourself, and draw inspiration from your chemistry. For example, if you both love sex in the shower, a waterproof vibrator should be at the top of your list.
Additionally, consider if you want a toy for both of you or one catered to an individual — there are explicitly couple's vibrators, vibrators for men, vibrators for women, and toys that are gender and genitalia neutral. But remember, you don't have to pick out a brand-new toy just for couple's play. If either of you has a vibrator you like to use, that's a perfect option to introduce and dip your feet in.
Once you have the sex toy(s) you want to use picked out, it's time to actually use them. Though you may immediately assume the sex toys would best be used on your or your partner's genitals, it's additionally worth exploring other erogenous zones as well. Your body has many erogenous zones, including the thighs, neck, back, inner wrists, and nipples, that feel amazing when stimulated. For that reason, POPSUGAR spoke with two experts on how and where to use a vibrator on yourself and your partner.
1. The Nipples
When stimulating the nipples and surrounding areola specifically, know these places are well-known activators and intensifiers for sexual play. While nipple action for women is much more popularised, everyone can enjoy the sensation. "In tantra, it's believed that the breasts are the area where erotic energy is created," Jenna Schreck, a cosmic sex wellness expert at nowheylady.com speaking on behalf of Lickerish Love, tells POPSUGAR. In order to stimulate this area, you can try placing the vibrator just under the breasts lightly yet firmly and wandering around the chest and tummy depending on your partner's pleasure response.
2. The Small of the Back
The small of the back can activate desire — or just be a fun spot to shower with attention. Start with a massage and allow your partner to relax. Billy Beyer, founder of luxury toy brand Lickerish Love, says to then place the vibrator "lightly at the top of the buttocks." Once you're there, "slowly move it back to the inside of the groin and thighs while upping the pressure." This move is part massage, part tease, and even if this area doesn't end up being especially sexy for your partner, it gives you both the opportunity to get used to using a toy with one another.
3. The Frenulum
Once you're both warmed up with foreplay, try moving to the genitals. Then focus on the one spot that rarely gets talked about: the frenulum. "Located just under the head of the penis, this is the most sensitive part of a person's sex," Beyer explains to POPSUGAR. The frenulum is a ridge of tissue that connects the foreskin to the penial shaft. Simply put, it's the penis's hot spot where even the lightest touch can elicit a grandly satisfying reaction. Beyer stresses that only a little vibration is needed to rev up the pleasure, and moving the vibrator gently to the balls is an extra sensational bonus.
4. The Tip of the Penis
Although the head of a penis seems to be a straightforward area to test, it shouldn't be overlooked, Schreck says. Lightly rest the vibrator on the penis head for a beginner-friendly move that can lead to expert-level results. "Bonus points for circling the area with your mouth first," Schreck tells POPSUGAR, adding that alternating sensations — whether that be different settings and speeds or switching between your mouth and vibrator — would really get the toes clenching.
5. The Outer Labia
Before heading straight for the clitoris, consider teasing and stimulating the surrounding areas of the vulva with your vibrator. "By spending time around the entire vulva, you are increasing blood flow to the entire clitoris, meaning when you do go for what you can see of it, it will be exponentially more pleasureful," Schreck says.
6. The Pubic Bone
When the body is heightened by stimulation, the region right above the pubic bone can evoke surprising results. "You can test out the different intensities and rhythms of the vibrator here to tease your partner and see what they respond to," Beyer says. Notice when your partner audibly moans or makes a face of pure ecstasy, and keep the vibrator there. If your partner isn't as expressive, you can check in with them by asking, "How does that feel?" and "Does this spot feel good?"
7. The Perineum
For those who are interested in soft introduction to butt play, the perineum is a great area to explore with a toy. The perineum is the area of skin between the genitalia and anus, and it's a super-sensitive area for many people. According to Schreck, the perineum's main nerve sends sensation from the external genitalia, basically rendering this region highly sensitive and highly pleasurable — especially when stimulated with a vibrator.
Remember, all these areas are just starting points for play. If you and your partner take your time to explore, stay curious, and communicate, you'll find your perfect vibrator routine in no time.
— Additional reporting by Sara Youngblood Gregory
