Sex Therapy and Therapy for Sex Explained
"Made In Chelsea": What Does Sex Therapy Mean For James and Maeva's Relationship?
Image Source: Channel 4/ Rachel Joseph
"Made In Chelsea" is back and of course, so is the drama. In the first episode of series 27, newlyweds Maeva D'Ascanio and James Taylor are at odds (so nothing's changed then). But this time, Maeva is annoyed because James has been gallivanting around Chelsea telling everyone that they need to go to sex therapy to spice up their relationship - and of course, the only person he hasn't told is his wife.
Earlier in the episode, the couple discuss their current lack of sex drive as parents to a newborn. Maeva says: "Do you remember what you said to me the other day? 'You haven't touched me in a month.' Yes... I'm tired, I'm dead. I'm not thinking about your desire, your emotions." James then joked: "So you're saying sleep equals sex, so if I give you more sleep, I get more sex?" to which Maeva replied: "Yes! Anyway, marriage is good."
Of course, what started off as a harmless discussion got heated once Sam Prince revealed to Maeva that James was telling everyone about their lack of passion in their relationship. "This is the first time that I hear this sex therapist thing," Maeva expressed. "[He] never mentioned to me that we needed a sex therapist."
But is going to a sex therapist something to worry about? And is it an indication that your relationship is fizzling out? We got answers from sex therapist,Dr. Melissa Cook at FunWithFeet and Sofia Gray, to find out what sex therapy sessions really entail and what it means for your relationship.
Image Source: Channel 4
What Is Sex Therapy?
Dr. Melissa Cook:"Despite what people may think, if you have sex, have had sex, want to have sex, or think about sex, it's likely you could benefit from sex therapy. In other words, sex therapy isn't 'just' for those experiencing sexual dysfunction, mental blocks, or low libido issues — just like how psychotherapy isn't only beneficial for those diagnosed with mental health issues. Maybe you have some internalised shame you'd like to address, maybe you have some kinks you want to explore, or maybe you just want a safe space to talk, and only talk, since sex therapy does not involve touching in any way. Whatever the case may be, sex therapy can offer solutions to all those reasons and more."
Should I See a Sex Therapist?
Dr. Melissa Cook: "Sure! There are various reasons why sexual therapy can be beneficial for individuals and couples. This includes challenges related to sexuality and intimacy as well as communication issues, desire discrepancies, sexual dysfunction, and trauma recovery. There are also some common indicators that imply it might be beneficial for someone to seek sexual therapy. This includes regular sexual problems, distress related to sexual problems and feelings of disconnection with each other. When any of these situations begin to interact with your personal and relationship satisfaction as well as your quality of life, it could be time to reach out to a professional sex therapist."
What Does Having a Sex Therapist Mean For a Relationship? Does It Mean The Relationship Is Over?
Dr. Melissa Cook: "Seeking the help of a professional sex therapist doesn't mean your relationship is struggling or that it will likely end. In fact, it's the opposite. It highlights that individuals or two people are dedicated to addressing challenges which cannot only make their intimacy stronger but also their emotional connection. A sex therapist can even help you to understand each other better and be able to communicate your own needs.
"Lots of people are concerned about seeing a sex therapist but just consider it as a proactive approach to resolving any issues and establishing a stronger relationship in the long run. Instead of sex therapy being viewed as a sign of failure, why not look at it as an opportunity for improvement, healing and growth?"
What Is a Sex Therapy Session Like?
Dr. Melissa Cook: "This will depend on the therapist you choose but typically a session focuses on creating a safe, supportive and confidential space where you can express your concerns, desires and goals. A combination of talking therapy, experimental exercises and psychoeducation can be used to help you address specific issues and the therapist will use proven techniques to guide you to open up, and explore the way you're feeling. You may also be given exercises to do at home to enhance intimacy and improve communication. The main goal of sexual therapy is to help you to learn and explore within your sexual life and make positive changes that will impact you personally as well as your relationship.
" Sex therapy highlights that individuals or two people are dedicated to addressing challenges which cannot only make their intimacy stronger but also their emotional connection."
"Sex therapists may also give their patients some 'homework,' or things the patient can do in between sessions to build upon their work in therapy. Examples of possible assignments might involve masturbation, exploring how various parts of your body respond to touch or experience pleasure, or even standing in front of the mirror and looking at your body when you're completely undressed.
"As you start making progress in sex therapy, you'll likely start feeling like you understand your body, your desires, and your pleasures better."
What Does Sex Therapy Help With?
Dr. Melissa Cook: "Sex therapy is proven to help with a range of concerns, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, pain during sex, low libido and orgasm difficulties. You might also be experiencing communication issues or trust concerns, or even identity issues, which sexual therapy can all help with. It can also help you to navigate life stresses and events like menopause, divorce and pregnancy. Therapy can also be used to help you to uncover healthier attitudes towards sex and your sexuality which can aid overall sexual satisfaction and life fulfilment. Sexual therapy can help individuals to lead a more authentic and fulfilled life both in and out of the bedroom."
How Can I Find a Sex Therapist?
According to the NHS,, if you have a sexual problem, you should see a GP first as they can check for any physical causes. If that's not the case, then a GP will probably refer you to a sex therapist if they think it will help you. However, sex therapy is not available on the NHS in all areas, and an NHS clinic may only offer a limited number of therapy sessions.
You can also find a sex therapist privately, which you'll need to pay for out of your own pocket. However, don't just choose anyone - it's important to see a qualified registered therapist. Look for one who is a member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) or the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine.
Aaliyah Harry (she/her) is the associate editor at POPSUGAR UK. She writes extensively across lifestyle, culture and beauty. Aaliyah also has a deep passion for telling stories and giving voice to the voiceless. Previously, she has contributed to Refinery29, Grazia UK and The Voice Newspaper.
