You can't be in total control of your love life, and you have to give a little bit over to the inexplicable in order for magic to happen. To do this, Patti says you must focus on you. "Your mind has to be clear. Love is not an outside job; it's an inside job. The more you work on yourself, the better you are at love."
She told me that classic story we all have where we leave our house looking grunge to go somewhere like the grocery store or the dry cleaners and we meet a handsome man. He stops, talks to us, and asks for our number and we're left thinking, "How did that happen? I look like sh*t today." Patti says this phenomenon arises when we don't care. When we're in our joggers and a baseball cap, we're not thinking about impressing anyone, our anxiety shifts down, and we lighten up. No one is saying you should go on dates in your joggers, but look for ways to simply exhale the things you cannot control and focus that energy on self-care instead.