What Does Childhood Anxiety Feels Like?

1 I worry about being worried.

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One of my biggest worries is that I worry too much. Sometimes people call me "a little worrier" or "worry wart" and I know they're not trying to be mean, but it hurts mostly because I think it's true. Sometimes I'm worried that no one will ever understand what I'm going through or that I'll ever belong. It's especially bad when I'm tired or frustrated. I worry. Then I worry about my worry.

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2 Telling me to "relax" isn’t really relaxing.

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I know I need to learn how to relax or calm down when I get really anxious. But hearing people say, "Just relax" or that "It's no big deal" reminds me that I'm not doing things right. There's a lot going on in my brain all the time: once I went to the fair and saw one of those people that spin lots of plates on poles . . . it feels like that. Relaxing is actually really hard for me. I know you're not trying to do this, but to hear you make relaxing sound so simple actually makes me feel worse. When my emotions take over, there's nothing else. All I can see are those big, overwhelming feelings. All I can see are the plates.

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3 I like to know a lot about the things I don’t know a lot about.

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Not knowing what comes next is one of things that makes me worry the most. This is why I ask so many questions about things that are going to happen at school, parties, and when I meet new people. I like to know as much as possible ahead of time so I can think about how I'm going to act or what I'm going to do. Sometimes I even ask really off-the-wall questions that'll probably never happen, but it's my way of dealing with being nervous. Please be patient with me. It means a lot when you listen and respond without getting really frustrated.

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4 Sometimes I forget how awesome I am.

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When I feel calm, I know I'm a good person. I know I have strengths and talents and abilities. But sometimes worry takes over my life to the point that it's all I can see in myself. I only see my fear, how I'm different, and worst of all, I feel that others can only see those painful things, too. I forget that I'm capable. I forget that I'm loved. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I'm brave, awesome, and unique. I know I need to remind myself, too. I know, which brings me to my last point.

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5 I’m trying.

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I really am. I'm not trying to play you. I don't like the attention I get from my anxiety. I want to learn to control my worry. I'm trying all the time, and you can help. Let me rephrase that: I need your help. Encourage my baby steps and small victories. Support and love me when I fail. It helps me to keep trying when you remind me that some worry is normal, that you worry sometimes, too, and that the scary feelings will eventually pass. I trust you more than anyone in the world, and I know I can do this with you on my side.

Teach any child the coping skills necessary to manage stress and anxiety. Learn more here.

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