"I have felt guilty for many things as a mom: my postpartum struggles, the desire for a break, for yelling, for considering grocery shopping quality time, for having "me" time. It's endless. The problem with guilt is that it can eat you alive. It is crippling and can be the culprit of how we function day to day.
My current struggle is the guilt I carry from the pool accident last week. On a day that was meant for summer fun, it quickly turned to pure terror. My daughter almost drowned. Her ocean blue lips are on repeat in my brain and I keep reliving the terrifying moments over and over again. In a matter of seconds, I almost lost my daughter and I took on a whole new form of mom guilt. . .
I cannot let this accident define me as a Mom because it doesn't. Accidents happen. Tragedies happen. They don't define who we are, they are apart of our story and it is up to us to how we navigate our way through them to find healing."
However, guilt is powerful. It manifests in many different ways. It will ruin you. I know all these things and yet, right now I am at war with my mind. I am fighting to stand firm to what God says about me as Mom and have to choose not to carry the blame for the fact that my daughter could have died. It is hard to do. But with the help of time, a whole lot of Jesus, therapy, and everyone around me, I will find healing."