How to Stop Caring What Other People Think About You

We typically don't really know what other people are thinking. We're just guessing, and those guesses usually stem from our own insecurities. We take what we don't like about ourselves and place those thoughts on other people. When you catch yourself ruminating over what someone might be thinking, take a pause and remind yourself that you don't actually know what that person is thinking, and there's no reason to get upset about something you don't know to be true. It's also very unlikely that anyone is even noticing or thinking about whatever it is your insecure about in the first place.

Often, our people-pleasing tendencies sneak in and we aren't even aware that they're the driving force behind our decisions. Before we know it, we've filtered everything from our photos to our plans based on the opinions of others. This is why it's important to become more aware of your own thoughts and decisions. Leaving your mind unchecked allows it to venture off. We must first recognise when we're caring what other people think in order to change it.

When you notice your thoughts have become preoccupied with what someone else might think, dig into them to find out what's really going on. What exactly are you afraid of someone thinking? And more importantly, why? Why does it bother you? Keep asking yourself "why" for every answer until you get to the real root of the issue. It's never really about what someone else thinks of us; it's always about what we think of ourselves.

We only care what others think when we fear there's truth in their thoughts. Look at it closely – we only worry that people will think we look bad in an outfit because we think we look bad in that outfit. We only care what our friends think of our relationship because we are afraid it isn't the right one. Things only upset us when deep down we think it too. This is where self-love comes in. If you're solid in your foundation of who you are and fully believe in the decisions you're making, it won't matter what other people think because you'll no longer need that external validation.

There really is something to all the inspirational quotes you see on Instagram telling you to "stand in your truth" and "own your sh*t." You have to own it, or it will own you. As Brene Brown, research professor and storyteller who's given TED talks, says, "You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness." Give yourself the acceptance you crave from others, and caring what other people think will no longer be a source of anxiety.